Professional Attraction

I wrote a short fictional piece about acting on secret sexual attraction while talking to a colleague on a video call. This recalled memories of previous interactions with some colleagues over my working experience.

I have previously said and also pondered on the thought that those women who I have good personal or professional relations with, I also have had some level of sexual attraction to.

I find myself sexually attracted to females, this is the context through which I process these thoughts. I would be interested to hear from people who can’t relate to this post or those people that have different sexual identities to me.

Although interesting, in this quick post I am not diving into the reasons for why I feel this way, it’s about how I feel and is this “appropriate”.

I have been doing mandatory corporate training on “Building Inclusive Teams”. There is a scenario where a male employee will not go on an overnight business trip with a female colleague who is the business expert in the required area. They give the reason that they don’t want to be in a situation where they are tempted into something inappropriate.

My immediate response with this scenario was that it’s unacceptable behaviour from the male employee. Their idea’s around temptation are completely their own and in no way should they exclude any employee who is best suited for a particular task. 

Related to this is my experience with the kinky Twitter and Blogging communities, where people are very open about their sexual lives, needs and desires.  Where you might relate to and share kinks with others, it does not in any way imply that they want you to “give it to them”. I love the experience of sharing the same turn-ons alongside others without the need for there to be anything more than a shared interest.

I have come to think that there can exist healthy one or two sided sexual attractions along with other shared interests with those people who you’re friends with or that you may work with. This energy can find all manner of productive and creative outlets.

Do I believe

In the beginning … I was brought up in a charismatic Christian household where religion was a bad word and the established denominations were considered outdated and out of touch. This was my world, twice every Sunday for the formative years of my life.  Although strict and conservative, there was no topic forbidden from discussion, the rigid view on faith was always tempered with tolerance and love for thy neighbour. Did this experience shape me and my views on religion and spirituality, hell yes it did.

Belief in a certain religious doctrine is an extremely personal and subjective thing. For some people it’s part of their identity and for others,  it gives them a place to belong. This is exactly where I fell through the cracks, I found myself more of an observer rather than a participant. It’s from this vantage point that I developed my own views from an inside-outside perspective.

There are a number of contradictions non-Believers like to level at the Bible and other Religious literary works and institutions. There’s a plethora of reasons and evidence they provide and one of these is the use of metaphors. In addition, there is also a question on the authenticity of religious beliefs and historical accounts. More acutely, they question the relevance of central beliefs in a modern world. 

Do I think that the earth was created in six days, no. Do I think the concept of evolution is from the devil no I don’t. Do I think that there is a rational and scientific disconnect from literal interpretations, of course I do. Many of my own observations made me question the rules and conventions of my Christian upbringing. Does any of this matter to me, no not really. Do I lose a night’s sleep over this, no I did not.

Why do I consider myself a believer in God or the supernatural when I acknowledge the accusations made by others and when I saw things that made me question what I was taught.  I guess the reason is that I consider myself a spiritual person, I feel a connection to the supernatural. I do not need rational proof or accepted doctrine to feel this connection. 

For me what people believe in is personal to them, sure my beliefs have been shaped by my environment. If I am honest, of course I have a view on someone else’s beliefs and how I perceive that they arrived at those beliefs. But it does not matter, what they believe in, does in no way impact on me. I am not threatened by the beliefs of others.

I would not call myself a practicing Christian, do I do things that are frowned upon, oh definitely. Are other beliefs inferior or wrong, I have no idea and no rational way of answering that question. I heard once that if you can be convinced to believe in something as the result of a well structured argument, then there will always be an ever better argument that can be used to change your mind.  

Reading again over what I’ve written so far, I don’t know if my words come across as the ramblings of a confused non-conformist ex-Christian. In my own mind and something I enjoy talking about on a one to one basis, seems really hard to articulate in words.

From my spiritual core, yes I do believe in a higher power, the supernatural . There are many stories and texts from the Bible that I find resonates with my spirituality. Does it make these words universally true, no it doesn’t. However I find peace and guidance in them and that works for me.

Grace be with you all. Amen.

F4Thought

My prayer’s for you

On this Sunday morning as I begin my day, carnal desires seems like a distant hum. My thoughts are of you, with all of you . To you with a special special place in my heart and to those unknown.

You carry the same anxieties and fears we all have, yet day after day you begin your shift on the frontline. All I can offer is my thanks, my deep appreciation for the job you do so well.

I pray that you that you have the strength to carry you through and that you get the peace of mind to rest, to fight another day.

Sunday prayers

Sinful Sunday

F4Thought

My Confession

Each morning stepping into the temple of flowing water and steam. Entering my meditation, showers of sensations drown all my senses. I have to confess, my thoughts turn to you, my desires are amplified.  Primal urges draw my hand to stroke my cock, the grip intensified by my need for you. 

I close my eyes leaning into you, desiring to feel more. I invert my hand, my thumb towards the base of my shaft. As I stroke, the sensation from the top of my penis is like then welcoming clasp of your sex and waves of pleasure travel across my body.  I have to confess, I can’t hold back, my hips driving my cock harder, fucking you with complete abandon. 

I can feel an orgasm is near, a pending hit of pleaser and clarity targeting my brain, my daily fix. My eyes open to witness the explosion of release, the manifested metaphor of my desire. The universe pauses and for a moment in time everything makes sense, everything in its place.

I step from the shower, wrap myself in contemplation as the world awakens. My day can begin, my penance is served.

Hard times when working from home

[WORK FROM HOME FICTION]

Is it professional respect, sexual chemistry or even both? We seem to be talking quite a bit recently, enough to make me wonder if there’s more to this interaction. After three weeks in the new role and all there required manager orientation, certain themes stand out loud and clear; no fraternizing with staff! No after work drinks hookups, no closet room rendezvous or photocopier explotes. Nothing without notification of HR.

Is not the forbidden not always the most tempting. 

With all the rushing about, arranging staff to work from home and supporting the wider business to do the same, time has been a blur. All kinky thoughts and fantasies fading into the same blur.

With things settling down, team meetings all virtual including afternoon tea breaks, a familiar feeling returns. Daily one on one checkings, that glint in their eye and that warm tone in their voice. Surely this is more than work related engagement and team mate check-ins, my imagination goes into overdrive.

It’s still dark, early in morning and I wander over to my impromptu home office catching up on the overnight activity. I sit down wearing a t-shirt and boxers chuckling to myself about my work from home attire. An hour later, I think that I need to get ready for the day and get dressed or at least put trousers on.

A familiar ping echos from my computer speakers, it’s them. “Hey, how are you today? Do you have a few minutes to join me for a virtual coffee x”. 

Is that a kiss? I should not answer. I do. “Hi, sure, I’m just about to get some :-)”. A telepresence alert pops up on the screen, I accept. My heart races, I can barely let out an audible “Hi”. They pop up in front of me, slightly messy hair which is tied up, loose fitting jumper, and a steaming mug displaying the words “up for it” with a big arrow pointing to the rim of the mug. 

My mind screamed “THIS IS DANGEROUS TERRITORY!!!”, it was too late. I had to shift my position, the fabric of my boxers under strain as my body lost all control to this brooding temptation. 

Reaching into my boxers and stroking the building desire, is akin to rubbing the lamp and letting loose the genie. It takes all my focus to keep the genie under some measure of control, all I wish for is that my conversation continues with some coherence and the movement of my hand not giving my actions away.

“Catch you later”, click and the call is ended, however the genie is far from sated. “This is the last time, OK” I lie to myself before seeing to the need and taking things properly in hand. 

Image from #SinfulSunday post
Masturbation Monday

Silky and lacy underwear kink

Sourced from Pinterest

Let me start by making this statement, I love the wearing and the feel of silky and lacy underwear. Am I revealing myself as a closet crossdresser? Well listen further and make up your own mind.

There are many good people around who wear their kink on their sleeves and equally as many people who don’t. I would associate with the latter.  The exploration of my kinky desires is a relatively recent endeavour and I often think about where many of these feelings originate. 

Let’s start at the beginning, when I was very young I would wear my sisters underwear. There was something about the feeling of the fabric and the lacy edges I found very appealing. In addition, there was a forbidden aspect to this. Even at a young age, I was acutely aware that this was not acceptable behaviour for a boy growing up in conservative South Africa during the 70’s.

During the mid 80’s and well into my adolescence, I felt this draw again. This time it was different and as a teenager I again gave into this urge. I found it erotic and got turned on by it, adding a whole new dimension to my experience. The feeling of a teenage erection against silky or lacy panties was incredible and irresistable.

Let me add some context, I’m cis male, hetrosexual, fairly masculine and very comfortable with these labels. The desire for the feeling of silky underwear against my skin is no contradiction or challenge to the identity I hold.

Something later happened to me, I got a girlfriend. Slipping my hands beneath her clothing revealed wonderful discovery. As my hand glided over her underwear closely fitting her body,  the silky sensations against my fingers, triggering that familiar arousal, something was different, something was more. This was the beginning of a new chapter in my kink.

My silky kink had evolved, it was now wrapped around a woman’s body. So many more elements of sensation and stimulation. The visual satisfaction of tight fitting lace over a body, running my hands over the fabric, the responses from the body underneath. Hardening of nipples, the shape of their mound, the warmth, moisture giving away their arousal. Then a further evolution, experiencing the arousal of another, synchronised with mine.

Back to my original statement, “I love the wearing and the feel of silky and lacy underwear”. Oh man, yes, I do love the wearing of silky and lacy underwear. But so much more when it’s on another body, a beautiful wrapper, an adornment and decoration of wonderful treasures.

Lingerie is for everyone